Saturday, December 31, 2011

I Belong to you ...


special thanks to Juli who introduced me to this song


Supererp’ dentro di me gli obstacle, I miei momenti pui difficili ...Per te

I will Surpass all the obstacles in me my most difficult moments…For You.
Page 63

My most recent relationship had come to a predictable, albeit painful end. In the gay community relationships are a success if it outlasts milk

After a slight bruising and brushing off, I met a special someone at a key meeting place for lesbians. A quaint coffee café in the lower level of Greenway Plaza. Her name was Wendy. She was the transplant coordinator for a prestigious Hospital in Houston. I will admit the draw was mostly idealistic since my father had a lung transplant and his transplant coordinator was an integral part of our life at University of Wisconsin Medical.

There was a certain amount of lust involved; we both had great bodies, kept us naked most of the time. But my children hated her.

I discovered this little coffee shop whilst working for a structural company at Greenway Plaza.  
I had been in my share of failing same sex relations Everything in my life was about to change. Fate, serendipity, whatever you want to call it. While in only my first month with Wendy, I met, what I felt was my soul-mate, kindred spirit. I locked my eyes on her; she pretended not to notice me, when the owner of the shop appeared.

“Hi Dianne!” She then addressed my target “Willie, this is Dianne, she’s “family”.

Willie said hello and then held my gaze. I knew I was about to make either the best decision or the biggest mistake of my life. The first thing she said to me was “I just broke-up with my girlfriend. (Like I gave a shit).

“Who’s your girlfriend?” I asked
“Dana S.” Willie answered.
“Oh, I know Dana. She was at the Venture-In the other night with Bootsie”

Now I will state – in advance, the Gay community is an incestuous community in that it is not unusual for your ex to be dating your NEW partner’s ex. Or your new partner is your ex’s old partner…did you get that?
Willie became very agitated and asked me to join her while she smoked a cigarette outside. Of course I did. She then asked for more details.

“I am so sick of hearing Bootsie assigned to my previous girlfriends” Willie replied angrily.
“Well, I have been attracted to Dana for some time” I offered “so where does that leave me?” “Besides, I dated Bootsie and still do from time to time.”

Willie suddenly recognized me as being the only person to make Bootsie cry. It had gotten around in the community that when I was with NEW GIRL, Bootsie had called me, I gave her the truth, and then ended it.

She went ballistic, her friend Tracy Rubio called from the Ranch and asked that I come and help that Bootsie was hysterical and actually crying. Truthfully, I NEVER saw her cry. But it was witnessed. She was crying. I knew we had problems when she kept calling the radio station and asking them to play Misty.

There were other adjectives assigned to my personality. Crazy, flirtatious, and unpredictable to name a few. But I was always a great conversationalist, keeping up to date with current affairs and a humorist, keeping people entertained. No pregnant pauses with Dianne. I truly enjoy living life's experiences through others. My sense of humor has been a great selling point. And of course, I had a reputation for being a people pleaser in ALL facets of my life. And I am generous, to a fault. I take excellent care of my lovers, cooking special things for them, all the time. Doing their dishes, laundry and resume’s. And earning the lion’s share of the money.

Willie wanted to play a dirty game on Bootsie, that initially I found to be harmless. However, it laid the road to heartache later on. If I knew then what I know now, I do not know if I would have done things differently. But I do, with all my heart hope so. Of course it was to be innocent fun, but turned into painful provocation.

Willie gave me a scenario and wanted it to be delivered. As requested, I left a message with Bootsie that I would not be meeting with her the following day. I had met a person by the name of Willie. Willie wished to take me to lunch on a romantic picnic. In reality, our relationship had taken a turn for what I felt, was positive. I had, in fact, actually fallen quite deeply for her. However, I digress;

Bootsie called back and left a fervent message.

“I cannot believe you are dating that Troll! Dianne, this is your own undoing” Booter said, “You will have every person in this community blackball you. You can count yourself off the “A-list”.

This was not as profound to me as it was to her, considering I maintained and updated this list. It would be JNA who could do this, and only JNA. Besides, I doubt if that were possible, I would probably maintain my stand.
Do not think Wendy was forgotten. No, she went ballistic. Turned out she and Willie worked together in the same Hospital and she had already experienced a go with Willie, on that turf. Willie worked with Dr. DeBakey exclusively, her position was not threatened. Wendy on the other hand was in precarious employment at that time and that is all I will say about that.

My daughter, Devo was introduced to Willie quite accidentally. We were shopping at Foleys, going down the escalator and lo and behold, who was coming down?

Willie.
She yelled “Dianne”, at which time my daughter said “that better be a man!”.

Devo and I made our way to some table and chairs, waiting for Willie to descend down. Devo was both irate and curious. Willie came directly.

"Mom what happened to Wendy?”
“Nothing” I replied. ‘What makes you ask”

Willie seated herself as I introduced my much talked about, very intelligent daughter, who was at least 20 years older in mind. But, at this time she was sporting the “child”.

“Mom, do you know how NOT to flirt with another woman, as a matter of fact, do you know how to not flirt with anyone?”

But not to fret Wendy dug in her ankles and kept a solid footing on our precarious relationship, after not only finding out about Willie, but finding Willie was a too-far-gone liaison. During this time, Wendy had tried to hold me captive in her house. When I got loose, I went home to find Willie there for the last 2 days watching my kids.

Yes, she already moved in. She was homeless after Dana booted her out, staying with a friend from The Ren Fair. It is important that you remember this fact. I had a home, a nice car, a great job. I neither drank or did drugs. My life was on a solid footing. However, I was relationship dependant.

At that time my daughter was 11 and my son 20. So they did not need anything more than Willie’s supervision. But I felt it was one more selling point for Willie. As I stated earlier, Wendy did not want to be a parent.

Yet, Willie had told Dana that she did not want to have children. Mine were different? My kid’s loved her.

My son went as far as to ask me to meet him at the “coffee shop” where I had met both Wendy and Willie. He was quite serious.

“We don’t like Wendy” he said “we Do like Willie.” So that was it.

Wendy did not let go to easy. No, she kept this 3 way rift running a good 3 months. Even when she found out Willie dropped me off and picked me up every day.

She preferred to ignore the obvious. The “first time” with Willie, occurred at a prestigious hotel. I had used Wendy’s vehicle after dropping her at work, to go to this rendezvous with Willie. When I went back to get Wendy at work, my hair was wet. She knew I was neither at home or at her place, yet she still never asked me a question.

Willie was so troubled by this lack of total commitment from me that she went to San Francisco to see her friends. I called her there after she left numerous messages. In the messages on my phone, she was down, but after my call, she felt that Wendy would soon be behind us. She got her nipple pierced. She said it was for me. Lesbians…

I was probably more attracted to the person I wanted her to be, rather than the person she was. She went with us to my daughter’s Junior High graduation. My son said we looked like the Adams Family. We were the hypothetical
dysFUNctional family. She would portray this same nurturing attention for quite a few years following. Wendy was not to be sidelined. This cat fight between her and Willie would continue until a full blown confrontation occurred in June.
I made the mistake of going to a Moody Blues concert with Wendy in June and she took this as (with reason) a new commitment.

It wasn’t. I just liked the Moody Blues and Willie did not. I didn’t know it yet, but I had turned into a dying star ready to implode into myself.

This culminated into a physical altercation, in which Wendy arrived at my home in Spring, Texas, and saw a vase of flowers (from my mother to Devo). She immediately surmised that Willie had sent them, thus, they needed to go. She threw them across the room and Willie threw her out. She came back in and … Willie won, let’s just say that. We were all marked by the physical end of this.

By the end of June, Willie asked for a new and final allegiance from me. She deserved one. I gave it. Willie decided at once she was going to be my next and last attraction. AND...she purchased several leashes to keep track of me. A beeper, a cellphone (very expensive at that time) and a personal escort to and from work.
Don’t worry, I have not forgotten Bootsie
Trust me NO-ONE could forget Bootsie.
But I met someone that made me believe my search was over, who made me no longer long to have Debra back. She was like Debra without the deception.
Willie.

To be continued ...


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Music:  EROS/Anastacia I belong to you.
If It Seems Too Goo To Be True On YouTube

Some of the names and characters in this blog are fictitious. This is an acount of actual events.  For the few who have given me permission, I thank you.   © Truth has witnesses ©DSL
©   This material is the copyright of  Dianne Schuch Lindsey and cannot be duplicated in any fashion without the express permission of the Author.    All rights reserved

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