I slept with my back against Debra, as she enfolded me in her arms. We stayed that way all night, and that was how we slept when we were in each other’s company.
At 8am the following morning I woke up to the bed empty. I could here the children watching TV, laughing and snapping at each other. I could smell bacon and eggs cooking. I compelled my body to rise. Grabbing a shirt, I opened the bedroom door expecting to see Debra at the stove, but she was no where to be found. I crept down the hallway, not wanting to distract the children, as I had no idea what they knew, or felt, about the sleeping arrangements. I figured
Debra was in the family room watching cartoons with them. And enjoying them as much as they did. More.
But Debra was absent from that part of the house as well. I passed by the children quietly to see if her truck was outside. It was. I peeked outside, it was stifling and the air was thick from the precipitation, she wouldn't have been out there for long, it would have messed with her hair. And as expected she was not outsider.
I turned back to the children who were staring at me quizzically.
“Debra is back in her dad’s lawnmower shop” Trey said and turned his attention to the more important matters of who
Ren and Stimpy were going to overthrow today.
I had been awake and up for almost 15 minutes now.
Walking down the hallway, I could smell something burning on the stove and quickened my pace. The bacon was burning, and the room was rapidly filling up with smoke. I grabbed the pan, and dropped it to the floor with bacon grease flying. I screamed. The kids came running to my aid. After sending them back to their show ,I immediately cleaned up the mess, attended to the blisters. Curiosity was turning to anger, where the fuck was she? If she was back in the shop she should have heard me and come running to my cries.
I stormed to the back of the house. I could see the back to a chair was moving, a phone cord dangling with the phone obviously off the hook. As I approached I could see her feet propped up on a box. I inched toward her, not wanting to break the momentum of her conversation.
“When are you going to get your happy ass home?” she rasped, an angry whisper. She then turned the chair and there I stood. She had her head down, in her hand, but her eyes peeked up at me .
“Good morning” said with a cheerful, teasing voice. “I’m going to go, Dianne just got up and we may be taking the kids out.”
She had to be talking to either her parents or Anna. Who else would care?
And then she handed me the phone, which I reluctantly accepted. Of course I knew by then who it was.
“Hi Dadita” Anna sounded very jovial “Is everything ok there?”
“Yes” I sat on the desk adjacent to Debra, everything I owned in full view since my legs were propped up on the chair.
“Did your drive go okay? We had terrible weather here and I was concerned.” I wasn’t lying.
“It was rough, but I am here and that’s all that matters.” she continued, “Debra isn’t doing very well, I’m sorry to have left that mess behind for you …”
“That’s okay” I interrupted. “She’ll be fine, we will keep her busy” Meaning the children and I.
“I need to go Di, I have been on this phone for over an hour.”
An hour. AN HOUR!!!!
We said our goodbyes, my eyes never left Debra’s.
I hung up the phone and turned to go back in the kitchen.
“I heard some screaming, was that you” Debra said condescendingly. As if she cared.
I said nothing. I went to the bathroom and rummaged around for some antisceptic to put on my wounds, finally finding some in an overnite bag of Anna’s. I soothed the burns and headed toward the bedroom. Debra followed like a puppy, explaining, which I didn’t hear one word of, then trying to intervene in the medical department, I shooed her hands away.
When I went to the bedroom, I stripped off my shirt intending to take a shower. Debra pulled me to her from behind, holding me tightly, she ran her hand down my arm, to my hip and around. I grabbed her hand and twisted it as I turned, shocking the shit out of her. I let go, went to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door. She knocked, then pounded, then the kids intervened, curious more than anything.
I could here the “mother” voice Debra took when taking control of them. I could only hear rumblings, the shower cancelled out any decipherable sound.
The shower felt wonderful after the arduous night. I stayed longer than necessary, reviewing the fortnight and morning's exploits. This was a mess. But it was painful more than anything. I knew the best thing I could do was to divorce myself from this mess and return to my husband. How does one do that when they are in love? Crazy in the love, manically obsessed. Now I was the one out of control, thinking only of the here and now.
I had 2 months of being treated like a princess, being loved and conjoled at every turn. She built me up too high and would not give me a ladder to come down. That was only going to happen by my falling on my face. Debra had me soaring far too high to be able to do that without certain damage.
What kind of idiot stays with someone after they have been confronted with the obvious? I was losing everything, Debra was gaining a harem. Never have I let a man do this to me, and many of them have the scars and surgeries to prove it. Once they lost my confidence in their love, I was out the door and into the new. And when the old confronted this new, the shit hit the fan and all I did was stand back and watch the fireworks. The winner, (or looser, depending on how you look at it) knew I was not to be trifled with and never tried it again. Either you want me, and ONLY me, or the deal is off.
So Debra had balls, I gotta say that for her. More than any man I had been with. And I helped prove her bravado by staying. So I decided I was not going to do it. From the beginning, every hunch I have had with this woman has played out.
I stepped out of the tub, quickly toweled myself off and grabbed Anna’s blue robe to make passage to my clothing.
The house was uncomfortably quiet. I threw my towel back into the bathroom, leaving it on the floor for her majesty to claim, and searched the house. No one home. I sat on the bed and picked through cable channels, totally uninterested, but it killed time. I should be packing up my stuff, but I was in no mood for one of Debra’s hysterics. I would do that tonite and sneak out the door. I didn’t have a car, but no doubt, once I called Jackie, he would pick us up.
Music: OMD/Forever Live and Di (why do you want to make me cry)
To be continued