Tuesday, August 30, 2011

You fell in love for the weekend...


Page 20

But I fell in Love for the Rest of My life








Just for a moment, I held you too close.



Now we're all out of time and I don't want to let go.


Anna, Debra and I spent most of the day, after my "to be expected" slip on the rocks, in the pool. If there is water, and beverages are served, Debra is there. I can see her walking with her arms up and bent at the elbows, as if commandeering the pool to do her bidding. Always smiling, one eye squinting. She was like a child. She always carried that childish grin. She would talk to Devon and Trey, her nieces, nephews, all children as if they do have a brain and the ability to communicate.

I always felt Debra should have a child. Later, years after this, after the dust settled and I was able to see clearly, I wanted to get in touch with her and offer to have a child for her if she donated the eggs and arranged for the in-vitro. Willie was having none of it. This idea actually launched a campaign for me to have a hysterectomy.


Maybe it was for the best. Debra had boundary issues. I don't feel she could appreciate the importance of continuity in a child's life. All thye time she spent with my children, years in fact, she walked away and never looked back, never cared about the impact she had on their lives, never called them,never sent a card. When Devon graduated at thet top of her class with a prestigious scholarship, one of only 100 given out nternationally, Debra was not there to see it.


A beloved partner who I parted ways, Risa and I broke up 14 years ago after a four year relationship. I felt she was too immature to be a partner, much less a parent. Yet, she is in contact with my children and knows more about their lives than I do. The youngest of all my loves, the most mature . Every moment I have missed in my children's lives has made a profound impact on me. And not one of those moments would I have missed if it were in my power. If I would have given birth to a child for Debra, I still would have been committed to keep a watchful eye. In my heart, I feel every one who us deserving, needs to be a parent.
Debra was egging the kids on as they wiggled and tried to break loose from Lee's firm grip.


It was already climbing to the 100 degree index, this was early June. Weather in Texas becomes intolerable around August, but if this was any sign, we would be looking at hell by August. The sun beat down treacherously,


Lee informed me the Suntan lotion was getting low and she didn't want to run out. she was coating the kids so thickly, there was a viscous layer coagulating thicker than the Exxon Valdez spill, in the hotel pool. The lifeguard peered over his newspaper, grimaced and regained his focus on today's events.


Devon and Trey really didn't require sun protection. They both had a wonderful olive complexion, I don't believe I ever saw either of them burn. Nevertheless, Lee was not to be argued with.


Debra was annoying the hell out of me. She knew she could not do anything untoward. Still, teasingly would pull at the leg of my suit. When someone would turn, she would pick me up and throw me disrupting guests around us. Some of these fellow lodgers were eyeing us suspiciously.


I hoisted myself from the pool, grabbed a towel, dried off and created a sarong cover before making heading to the room to get the sun block.
Anna was catching sleep on a chaise lounge.
Debra followed my movements, turning in the water, her arms raised as if trying to keep them from getting wet, as she moved to the side of the deck.


Anna was OUT cold. Lee was chatting up the kids, rubbing them with the remnants of a 500 SPF lotion. Okay, exaggerating, but if she could get it, she would. She was preoccupied with the nuclear cloud and thought she was doing her part in keeping the children safe by making them so slippery they could fall, crack their heads and no-one could help as they slipped out other safety of a helping hand. Lee was explaining to the kids, why she was doing this, they weren't paying attention. They had their eye focused on the pool, and they both had that twinkle in there eyes that Debra was for an onslaught.  Lee didn't care; she continued her sweet and soothing consternations.


Each word pronounced with a mixture of Italian and Midwestern America dialect. She was both mother and grandmother to them. In the 36 years I have known her, not once have I taken issue to her treatment of my kids. ( I could not say the same for my family). I never interfered with her or Anna. Jack, on the other hand, spoiled them rotten and I had more of a problem with that. As far as I was concerned, Lee's word was law, as was Anna's. My kids still benefited from the nuclear family, something tragically lacking in today’s society.


“Di can you get me my cigarettes?"
"You can't smoke in the pool, get out and get them yourself. "


I could not believe I said that. Lee stopped and held her gaze on me. Anna tilted her head forward covering her eyes in a solute, squinting to keep out the sun. . She too had a sudden glare.

Pretty much everything within my perimeter stopped. You have to be kidding. Really. This woman warrants this much concern.
"Well excuse me," Debra laughed.

Poor Debra, I was so rude to her. She wouldn't hurt a fly. She was a pest strip all by herself. She absorbed this alliance around her. I was very irritated. I hate when people group together in an attitude they have no idea why they had it.

I resigned myself and reached into the pocket of her shorts.
A piece of paper fell to the ground.



To Be Continued...



Music
Steve Wariner/The Weekend




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